Child Arrangements for Christmas

As Christmas approaches many families are looking forward to spending quality and fun time together.  This is particularly so where there are young children in the family with parents wanting to make it a magical time for them.  This has never been more so than this year where family life has undergone many disruptions and struggles due to COVID-19.  However, with the current ongoing restrictions there is still great uncertainty as to what Christmas 2020 will look like and a flexible approach may be required.

Irrespective of COVID-19 where parents are separated or divorced Christmas can become a battleground with both parents wanting to spend Christmas day with the child/children resulting in children being  taken from one home to another half way through the day in order that they spend part of the day with both parents.  Sometimes this may involve long car journeys.

It is important to remember that the best interests of the child is paramount when negotiating Christmas arrangements.  Their excitement will have been building up for many weeks in the run up to the day itself and no doubt lists will have been produced of the presents they want.  When the long awaited day arrives and presents are unwrapped and children are happily engrossed playing with them parents should ask themselves if it is then fair to uproot them and move them to the other parent’s home.

Also, if either or both parents have new partners and/or children, dealing with these extended families can be hard for young children particularly in the early days.

It may be better to use Boxing Day as a ‘second’ Christmas day and spread the excitement in a more relaxed manner.  The question which needs to be asked is whether or not the arrangement is for the child or the parent.

Present buying can also become a battleground with each parent trying to outdo the other.  A more sensible approach may be to share the present list produced by the child and maybe buying the main present together.

Divorce and parental separation is a recognised source of stress for children especially if the separation is acrimonious with a high level of conflict.  The focus of any arrangement must be the child and their happiness.  It is also important that one parent does not criticise the other parent in front of the child, the child should not be made to feel guilty for wanting to spend time with both parents.

Of course, it is not always possible to come to an agreement and in those circumstances legal advice may have to be sought.  If you would like to discuss child arrangements with Spectrum Family Law  on 01279 799598 or email contact@spectrumfamilylaw.com