Child Arrangements at Christmas

As the Christmas season approaches many families are looking forward to spending quality and fun time together.  This is particularly so where there are young children in the family with parents wanting to make it a magical time for them.  Sadly, where parents are separated or divorced Christmas can be a difficult time and unfortunately can become a battleground.

Sometimes it is necessary to take a step back and try to separate emotions from the practicalities and most importantly to remember that the best interests of the child is paramount when negotiating Christmas arrangements.  With young children their excitement will have been building up for many weeks in the run up to the day itself.

It is usual for Christmas and other holidays to be negotiated when contact arrangements are finalised during divorce or separation processes but sometimes the process has not yet reached that stage, arrangements need to change or arguments still ensue.

It may seem like an ideal solution to share the day with each parent spending part of the day with them but when the long awaited day arrives, presents unwrapped and children happily engrossed playing with them parents should ask themselves if it is then fair to uproot them and move them to the other parent’s home which may involve a long car journey. Looking at your plans from your child’s perspective may help you to understand the practicalities and lead to a happier and more relaxed day for you all. A better solution may be to use Boxing Day as a ‘second’ Christmas day and spread the excitement. The question which needs to be asked is whether or not the arrangement is for the child or the parent.  The focus must always be the child and their happiness.

In the current economic climate and resulting cost of living crises it is also important that present buying does not become a competition with each parent trying to outdo the other. This is vital if one parent is in a better financial position as the result may put one party under extreme stress or plunge them into debt in their efforts to compete. A more sensible approach may be to share the present list produced by the child and maybe buying the main present together or agreeing a price limit.

Of course, it is not always possible to come to an agreement and in those circumstances legal advice may have to be sought.  It is important that this is dealt with as early as possible in the run up to Christmas to avoid last minute legal action.  In extreme cases a Child Arrangement Order may need to obtained.

If you would like to discuss child arrangements with Spectrum Family Law please telephone 01279 799598 or email contact@spectrumfamilylaw.com